Punched Out

Assuming I did not botch the task, by the time this posts I will have been dead via suicide for several hours.  Nope, that’s not a setup to a joke.[1]

Why would someone who is healthy, employed, has every outside appearance of success, and so on, take their own life? In my case the answer is simple enough: I was done, but my body wasn’t.  But that answer isn’t satisfying, so, for those who are aggrieved, upset, saddened, etc., let me do my best to try to explain.

And lest you imagine me some sort of sad human whom you should pity, I have never had that view of myself (aside from the occasional pity party, of course).  I did struggle with that self perception on and off as an adolescent and teen.  But since becoming a young adult I came to understand myself as a remarkably privileged human being.

Indeed, I have had nearly every conceivable advantage a human might hope for.  And I lived a rich, rewarding life of which I am, I confess, quite proud.

So, WTF!?!  Right?  Why would someone like that off himself?  Surely he was full of self pity, whining and crying, blah, blah, blah.

Perhaps I have deceived myself and that is the best account.  But it was not my experience.

As one last bit of prologue, I fear this post will be little more than a scattered set of thoughts.  Is there such a thing as a “suicide note” that makes sense to those who valued and loved the one who killed herself?  That seems unlikely. But perhaps some of you who are hurting will find something useful here.

 

chickenmisfit

Misfit

I didn’t “fit” in society.  That isn’t a problem of society.  Setting aside moments of petulance, I viewed it as a plain fact.  There it was.  What to do about it?  Ask society to adapt to me?  Hah!

Being a misfit manifested itself in two broad ways over the course of my life: (1) far too often I angered, insulted, offended and otherwise upset people, without expecting or intending to, and (2) I rarely felt that I was successful explaining my ideas, perceptions, understandings to others.

Yeah, I know: “Cry me a river!”  Nobody “fits.”  Everyone feels like an outsider.  Fair enough.  I am not trying to persuade anyone.  But for those of you interested in why I decided to end my life, it begins there.  This was a lifelong problem, and I while I certainly got better at reducing the frequency of both, daily interactions regularly reinforced each (admittedly, more the latter than the former, which was a blessing).

I began to get a handle on the fact that I experienced life differently than others in second grade.  While I certainly could not understand it as such back then, I basically observed class like an anthropologist might.  There were all these unwritten rules governing my classmates’ behavior, as well as a slew of them that governed my teacher’s interactions with us.  To be sure, our teacher had laid out some formal rules (e.g., don’t speak without raising your hand; line up in single file; sit still; walk on the right side of the hallway).

The formal rules were great: I knew what to do.  To be sure, I didn’t like many of the rules, and I struggled to figure out why some existed (e.g., sit up straight).  But several I could back out (e.g., walk on the right side of the hall).  And even if I could figure out why the rule existed, I knew how to behave: I could choose to obey or transgress the rule.

But the behavior of my fellow students often mystified me.  Why didn’t they pay attention in class?  Why did the teacher have to repeat herself?  How could they not understand that? Why did lessons have to move forward soooooo slowly?

But the real mysteries involved interactions outside of the formal classroom.  Why weren’t my classmates interested in the things I wanted to talk about?  Why did they want to talk about things that I found inane and uninteresting?

You might be surprised to learn that I was among the shortest of my classmates.  I was also horribly slow.  In short, I was a short, skinny boy who found social interactions curious and confusing and spent lots of time “in his head.”  Outside of a formal setting where the rules of behavior were clearly established I was shy.

I would figure out in my late 40s that I am borderline autistic.  Of course, in the late ’60s and early ’70s that wasn’t meaningful.  Had my parents or teachers known, there wouldn’t have been any useful resources for them to have done anything with the knowledge.

On Briggs-Meyer tests I score either INTJ or ENTJ, depending upon how I answer several questions: in a large group where I have no (leadership) role I am introverted.  Hand me a (leadership) role and the size of the group becomes irrelevant: I become extroverted.  In addition, as I become comfortable from repeated interaction in a group I switch from introverted to extroverted (primarily by filling leadership voids).

Both types are apparently unusual, each estimated to comprise around 2% of the population.  So, borderline autistic and I/ENTJ?  Yup: Misfit.

Here’s a quote from a description of INTJ’s that resonates with me.

People with the INTJ personality type take pride in remaining rational and logical at all times, considering honesty and straightforward information to be paramount to euphemisms and platitudes in almost all circumstances

 

Status Seeking Behavior

In Middle School, and especially 8th grade, I began to put together a useful way to understand the mystifying behavior of others.  Humans can usefully be understood as social creatures whom are constantly engaged in enhancing or protecting their rank among their peers.  As a recent post put it, quoting a researcher:

“Social cooperation is our key for survival and reproduction. It is not enough for individual men and women to know the whereabouts of lions and bisons,” he wrote. “It’s much more important for them to know who in their band hates whom, who is sleeping with whom, who is honest and who is a cheat.”

I cannot convey how visceral was my distaste in pursuing such information.  As a social scientist, and a dad who watched his children develop, I came to understand why people do this.  But it remained something I could not stand and actively avoided.

Unsurprisingly, rejecting pursuit of the types of knowledge that are “key,” is not especially healthy.

But this explains why my literary anti-heroes were The Little Boy in Hans Christian Anderson’s The King Who Wore No Clothes, Holden Caufield in Catcher in the Rye, and Yossarian in Catch-22.  I viewed those as one character during three periods of life: as a child (taught to conform), as a teen (struggling to conform, and hoping to save his sister from “growing up” and becoming a “phony” who conformed to social norms), and as an adult (struggling to make sense of a world in which collective action problems, status competition, and social norms create havoc with individuals’ lives).

 

You arrogant prick!

 

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change. Frank Lloyd Wright.

I heard this quote for the first time just the other day.  And I get it.

The best way for me to articulate why I valued honesty is that it hurt to lie.  White lies (told to spare another’s feelings) hurt.  As Holden Caufield puts it, being “phony” hurt.

And regardless of whether I was correct, I believed I was better than most at some things.  I was certainly worse than others at LOTS of things, and it struck me as appropriate to acknowledge that.

But in some settings it is costly to “put yourself down” in front of others, and in others it isn’t.  What distinguished those settings?  Damned if I knew!  But there are social norms that most human beings intuit / learn well, but I struggled to see / learn.

In some settings it is beneficial to “take credit” or “brag” a bit.  But in others it is costly.  Again, the distinctions were largely lost on me.

 

A Few Minutes Later You’re Laughing Again

Several years ago my brother, father and I were chatting about social interactions, and especially small talk.  We were in a bar and I asked my dad whether he suspected that the myriad conversations going on around us would interest him.  He confessed that he doubted many would.

My brother furrowed his brow and said something to the effect of

What’s the big deal?  People in here are having fun.  Sure, somebody says something that seem boring or irritating or whatever.  But it’s ware off a duck’s back!  A few minutes later you’ll be laughing again.

That really stuck with me.  My brother has mad social skills.  He can walk into any place where people speak English and in a few minutes he’ll be engaged in conversation and having a grand ole time.

I remember looking at him and wondering what it would be like to experience that.  Small talk literally hurt.  I loathed it. Why?  I found it stressful.  Seriously.  It induced stress. And that’s a problem.

Small talk is a hugely important social lubricant. Intellectually I came to understand that.   But emotionally I could not deal.

 

Pissing People Off

I had a relatively high tolerance for conflict.  I did not enjoy it: I found social conflict very stressful.  But I was willing to do it, especially in defense of those I felt were not in a good position to respond for themselves.  So there were numerous times when I angered, upset or offended people and I knew full well that my behavior / comments would do so.

But I was often surprised when someone, or a group of people, responded to me with anger, etc.  Over the years I came to understand myself as adopting a tone that has been described to me by various women in my life as “that tone,” “obnoxious” or “condescending.”

Sometimes I recognized what they were referring to.  But, and this is the difficult part, I very frequently did not.  Indeed, my ex-wife had to put up with more than a decade of me responding very defensively when she would make that observation.

Sadly, it took a comment from a colleague, Shaun Bowler, to help me see that I was, indeed, tone deaf.  “You know you piss people off,” he said, almost off handedly.  He had no incentive to do so, and for that reason it stuck with me.  “I guess I must,” is how I filed it.

Several years later another colleague, Matt Golder, would similarly say to me, roughly, “You really should be more careful with how you say things.”  I honestly did not know what / how I had said whatever it was I said, but I had by then long accepted that I piss people off without being aware that I was likely to do so (i.e., w/o the intention of doing so).

 

I was done

And so the simple way to say it is this: I was done.  I was tired of fighting to try to share my experiences, ideas, and views.  Large portions of my conversations with most everyone contained frustration where I let things go that bug me.

Perhaps that is true for most people.  Perhaps it is part of the human condition.  But I had enough and just wasn’t up for the continued effort.

And I was tired of pissing people off, especially when I did not expect to or mean to.

 

But you have so much to live for

Why not do the things I love? For example, I loved novels, (live and recorded) music, plays, movies, and films. I enjoyed watching ball sports on tv. I loved being out in nature, on a trail or off.

Over the past few years I’ve tried to do that, and while my enthusiasm for those things did not wane, they share something in common: they are consumption. And for some unknown, damnable reason, I could only do so much consumption.  Just doing things I enjoyed consuming was a tried and true path to depression for me.  To feel good about myself–to be able to look myself in the mirror–I needed to produce.

I learned long ago that producing something I found useful / valuable did not mean anyone else would see it as useful / valuable. One must market it: show others it use / value. And that may seem straight forward, but it isn’t.

And there’s the rub: strategic social interactions are front and center in that process.  Or so it seemed to me.  Either way I was just poor at it.

 

 

The Final Outro

For those of you who are aggrieved, upset, etc. with my death, please, to the extent you are able, try not to imagine that I viewed my life as miserable, unhappy, or anything of the sort.  Further, please don’t imagine that I went into some (slow or rapid) decline.  That narrative may describe well the lives of many who chose suicide.  But that was not how I understood my own life and choice.

I first began to weigh the costs and benefits to taking my life when I was a teenager (I suspect, roughly from the time I realized that I could).  Suicide is, of course, a taboo.  And the first rule of taboos is: don’t discuss the taboo!  The second rule is: if you must discuss the taboo, express your opposition and then close the discussion.

So I learned early on not to discuss it.

When I got married I mostly stopped thinking about the suicide option.  When we had children I stopped completely.  It literally just wasn’t an option to me.

And its important to explain that I experienced these as exogenous choices.  I don’t know whether you feel you are able to choose the thoughts that enter your mind, but aside from changing the stimuli (e.g., reading a book, watching a film, engaging in conversation), I did not exercise much control over the thoughts that entered my mind when I was not actively engaged in something.  My mind generated thoughts, seemingly independent of my will.

So, until my children became adults, the suicide option just disappeared.  I was thus surprised when, after my kids became adults, it returned.  But it did.

When I left my ex-wife I was well aware that my time on the planet might be shorter than my body’s life expectancy.  I knew I didn’t want to stay in the marriage, but I was far from confident that I would want to live a solitary life.  And so it has come to pass

In closing, I want to thank each and everyone one of you who interacted with me, in person and/or virtually, and especially those who I interacted with frequently and came to know.  I was fortunate to live a very rich life, and despite my challenges and frustrations, y’all were the reason for it.  Though I chose to exit rather than persist, I have been very privileged, and I thank you for being a part of my life.

 

Live well, and to steal a line from one of my fraternity brothers, “Go hug somebody!”

@WilHMoo

[1] I wrote this post prior to doing so–one can schedule blog posts, and I scheduled this one to post today.

PS: If you are curious about the title, it refers to the time clocks companies used to make workers insert a “punch card” to to establish when they arrived and when they left.

Sheep-Dog-Shift

About Will H. Moore

I am a political science professor who also contributes to Political Violence @ a Glance and sometimes to Mobilizing Ideas . Twitter: @WilHMoo
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123 Responses to Punched Out

  1. Maggie says:

    Rest in peace, Will.

  2. Henk E Goemans says:

    Thanks for this and everything else you did for us WIll.

  3. Jorda says:

    Wow. You contributed a lot to academia, and if the world no longer has anything to give you but agony, you have every right to leave it.

    Rest in peace.

    • lil cummer says:

      all non-stem fields are tony robbins personal development tier nonsense and obscurantism and a huge waste of tax dollars

  4. Pingback: Will Moore RIP - Lawyers, Guns & Money : Lawyers, Guns & Money

  5. John Tures says:

    I pray this does not happen, and I will definitely miss you Will. Thanks for all you have done for me, and all of the others you have inspired, and trained to do our best.

  6. Konstantinos Travlos says:

    May you find the peace you could not find in life.

  7. Jana says:

    My heart is breaking even though you didn’t want it to, Will. Your loss of Kris and my loss of Sophie are intertwined.

  8. I didn’t know you but it seems to me that you could be finding meaning in a monastic life/join a choir/develop more skills/ do service to reduce humanity’s suffering, etc.

    • lil cummer says:

      he killed himself because he had autism and it made him totally loopy

      • Lavinia The Weird says:

        people without autism can also experience such doubts; of course, one needs to be a multi-dimensional human being, so I guess you’re spared

  9. Pingback: RIP William H Moore

  10. me wanty cocosuckie

    ive had a jeffer now im bout tae snuff an onion up me arsehayle lmfaooo

    yA BLACK B@@@@@$$$$$TARD!!!!!!!!!

  11. Sam H. says:

    I heard any student that blew him got an A, but only if they swallowed. What a bastard.

  12. Elliot says:

    I hope the roasties are happy with themselves. They did this.

    • Chloe D. says:

      I hope you’re happy condensing a complex, nuanced problem down into blaming women.

      And they say there’s no sexism problem in tech.

  13. Pingback: Will Moore: A Fierce Friend | Duck of Minerva

  14. omg mbti cuck says:

    >MBTI
    horoscope pls go

    • John William Renquist says:

      Sign of a true autist when they doggedly subscribe to a horoscope for people too arrogant to believe in astrology. Sounds like half of this guy’s problems is that he couldn’t help himself from criticizing people and couldn’t stop doing it despite knowing it hurt other people, so he decided to “check out.” It’s the ultimate tantrum.

      In any case I’m glad he contributed to the world as much as he did. It was a gift to the species the work he did. Maybe sometime in the future we will be able to do away with all of the face to face social interactions that sort contributions and stick to practical value.

  15. Nigger killer says:

    Pussy bitch lmfaoooo glad you killed yourself. Nigger lover. All niggers will die starting tomorrow!

  16. anon says:

    Nice, glad to see this guy off’ed himself. Now if the rest of the (((Human Rights Activists))) would do the same.

  17. dr pavel im CIA lmao says:

    my chad fucks me

  18. nobleman says:

    well then

  19. ebaumsworld was here says:

    eat shit niggers

  20. nigger says:

    dude your’e fucking gay, rot in hell you jew

  21. Evelyn Fink says:

    Will, You had grace, heart, and a passion to do the work to defend humans against their worst impulses by putting in the time to collect the data and then do the work on the data. People will learn from your work. Not many could do what you could. Bless you and keep you and as my Greek friends say, “May Your Memory Be Eternal.”

    • lil cummer says:

      he has no style he has no grace this will has a funny face

      • J says:

        Wow aren’t you cool. . Post your Addy and let’s see how tough you are brah. Its losers like yourself that belittle people and cause shit like this to happen. Get fucked brah.

  22. Lila says:

    He was such an hero, to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he’s on our minds. Will was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, Our minds are rubber, our joints don’t work, Our tears fall into abyss. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn’t his task, He shouldn’t have had to go that way, before an decade’d past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. He had courage,that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died a hero, William did, And we’ll love him forevermore. We love you like an brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Will.

  23. Pingback: Punched Out | Will Opines - MLG SMOKER$

  24. Thanatos says:

    An elegant death

  25. Lee says:

    To the trolls that have been commenting this evening, I know you’re not going to heed this request, but please leave Will Moore’s website and his aggrieved colleagues visiting it alone. Will was not some controversial political figure or one of your buddies that whose chops you’re busting one last time, he was an esteemed colleague of many, made wonderful insights on international relations and conflict, and was a boon to so many around him.

    • Janni says:

      Agree. This is such a sad time for his family and friends. I am so sorry to read about this and to read his last post. Will was a tough, but fair professor. I am a better at teaching thanks to his no nonsense style.

      Damn. What a month or so. We lost Mark Sawyer and now Will. Hug your friends.

    • Anon says:

      Somehow this post was linked on 4chan, so I’m afraid it’s not going to stop here.
      Not that it really matters anyway, whatever is written here has no impact or meaning anymore.

    • S B says:

      The trolls who are trolling have zero actual malice. It’s taboo to be inappropriately offensive and un-solemn in this context, and that’s exactly what they find interesting. It’s unfortunate, but at least it’s not personal – no one is targeting Will or even really engaging much with the tragedy. It was just unfortunately linked on a notorious prankster’s forum that delights in this sort of thing. Don’t let it detract from how you feel.

      • Anon says:

        Its actually ironic how 4chan users, especially /r9k/ have the same personality type as this Will guy. I came here from 4chan too but I don’t have any interest in trolling or shitposting. Misfits nowadays have the option to look for a society unlike Will. Even though it’s just an online forum, it’s better than being left alone with your misery. A lot of robots (specific 4chan users) took interest in this post, because they talk a lot about suicide, reasoning behind it, integration and adaption into society etc. It’s really nice to have insight from an older person to this topic, since the average age on 4chan is between 20 and 30. I don’t know Will but may he rest in peace.

      • John Bishop says:

        “The trolls who are trolling have zero actual malice. It’s taboo to be inappropriately offensive and un-solemn in this context, and that’s exactly what they find interesting.”

        Your first sentence here seems to contradict your second. If being offensive for the fun of it isn’t malicious, then what is?

    • swagload says:

      Daddy’s 👨 got a hard dick🍆

      He’ll look👀 around the room, he won’t tell you his tricks

      He’s got a 10 gallon hat🤠, wrapped around his cock🍆, it’s a cowboy dick🤠 🍆

      Yeah made a tasty box of cum☁️, Hidden In his closet it’s a box🗃️ of fun things,

      I don’t even know what🤔

      But he’s cumming☁️ for you, yeah he’s cumming☁️ for you

      All the other kids👦 with the pumped⛽ 🆙 dicks🍆😋👌,

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      And he’s bringing me a surprise

      ‘Cause cummies☁️ in my pussy🙀 and it’s packed in tight🍱

      I’ve fucked for quite a long time🕗

      Yeah the size of my puss😾 is now a little bit bigger📏

      I reason with my kitty kat🐈,

      And say daddy👨 says you’re neutered✂️, must have lost your dick🍆, yeah

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      You’d better run🏃, better run🏃, out run🏃 my daddy👨,

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      You’d better cum,☁️ better cum,☁️ faster than my daddy 👨

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      You’d better run🏃, better run🏃, out run🏃 my daddy👨,

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      You’d better cum,☁️ better cum,☁️ faster than my daddy 👨

  26. Erik Gartzke says:

    Aloha, Will. Not right. We will miss you.

  27. Dr. Robert Cockson says:

    BTFO
    T
    F
    O

  28. Press F to pay respects

  29. John Doe says:

    I did not know Will. However, I do know that he wrote here on this post with reason, passion, and good spirit. I’m saddened by the loss of such a well-spoken man but I also am glad he had a satisfactory life and death. Rest well, Will.

    • lil cummer says:

      will was really a true gay man who had much intercourse with many other men

      • Lavinia The Weird says:

        your posts are full of homophobic hatred; maybe it’s best to turn off your computer and go do some thinking (assuming you have a brain)

  30. John Doe II says:

    Hi there in the afterlife (or whatever). Posthumely I would like to thank you for this post. It resonates so much. I’m on the verge of divorcing my wife because she interacts with me and the world just as you describe it. To the loved ones of Will… could you give me some pointers on how to live and love with someone who’s suffering these difficult feelings and social interactions? I really hope you rest in peace Will… greetings from just another hacker/wacko/bozo.

  31. Stevern Jobes says:

    If he didn’t care about his own life he obviously doesn’t (or can’t) care about the troll posts.

  32. Jemal says:

    BBBRuuh I read this to my GF and when I got to the “I was the shortest of my classmates” she burst out laughing. WTF is up with deez manlets fam? Always perpetually angry n sheeit; shorties BTFO.

    • Stevern Jobes says:

      Like smoke some weed jesus christ for real dawg; trippin out over this stupid shit.

      it’s all just chemicals bro, just walk away.

      He could of unselfishly donated his life to helping people for one thing.

  33. Stevern Jobes says:

    Wow, you can’t delete your own posts and the web host killed himself.

    This shit will never get fixed; abandon ship.

  34. telescoper says:

    Reblogged this on In the Dark and commented:
    A tragic last blog post from an academic who took his own life yesterday.

    Please read it, and then read some of the comments following it and despair.

    ‘What a piece of work is Man.”

    • John William Renquist says:

      Stop masturbating and showing off how sensitive you are with these empty comments.

      The people “trolling” here better understand and relate to Will’s post than any of you normies ever will. Sad that you have to make it all about you when it’s a comment on exactly the kind of status seeking social fakery that you’re participating in with this comment that Will was lambasting.

    • Kenneth Fernandez says:

      Why the hell would you do that?

      • telescoper says:

        Why would I not? He obviously meant his message to be read, otherwise he wouldn’t have made it public.

  35. Metatron says:

    >I learned long ago that producing something I found useful / valuable did not mean anyone else would see it as useful / valuable. One must market it: show others it use / value. And that may seem straight forward, but it isn’t.

    >And there’s the rub: strategic social interactions are front and center in that process. Or so it seemed to me. Either way I was just poor at it.

    And that’s the core reason why he killed himself. Salesmen. Social empty graces and schmoozing. The lowest of the low. They turn a shitty idea into something everyone wants, to the detriment of the good ideas that don’t get spit shined by an immoral cunt.

    Like he said in order to get your stuff valued you have to put up with social schmoozing. Which means that even if your product is superior, someone with an inferior product and better shmoozing will get more recognition/adoption of the ideas.

    In other words salesmen are the fucking WORST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET and should be burned alive during the next holocaust.

  36. Sebastian says:

    I only met Will a few times in person at conferences and workshops, but it was always great to get his take on things on social media. I’ll miss your thoughts, Will.

  37. Norman says:

    I often feel a similar way. In the sense that I either assert my point of view and engage in conflict or I let others proceed where I disagree and let them abuse me. It’s the latter that slowly brings you towards death, and it’s pride that won’t let you take the former route.

    There is of course more to this but it shouldn’t be underestimated that living with others respectably is an incredible burden. To some extent we all know that respectability is a lie, we all are completely pathetic with the exception of the few who really really don’t want to be and can see themselves honestly.

    I’m reminded of the following passage:

    “But what has happened to you?”-“I don’t know,” he said, hesitating; “perhaps the harpies have flown over my table.” Occasionally nowadays it happens that a mild, moderate, reserved man suddenly becomes violent, smashes plates, throws over the table, screams, stomps around, slanders the entire world – and finally goes to the side ashamed, furious with himself. – Where? What for? To starve off on his own? To suffocate on his memory? Anyone who has the desires of a lofty discriminating soul and only rarely finds his table set and his nourishment ready will be in great danger at all times: but today the danger is extraordinary. Thrown into a noisy and uncouth age, with which he does not want to eat out of the same dish, he can easily perish from hunger and thirst, or, if he finally nonetheless “catches on,” – from sudden disgust. – All of us have probably already sat at tables where we did not belong; and it’s precisely the most spiritual ones among us who are the most difficult to feed, who know that dangerous dyspepsia which comes from a sudden insight and disappointment about our food and those sitting next to us at the table – the after-dinner disgust.

  38. Hemma Royd says:

    Most homos live in a dark world filled with self loathing, roiling anger and suppressed hatred for the heterosexual masses. He offed himself – so what? He chose to end the gift of life that God Almighty bestowed upon him. The sun will continue to rise out of the eastern sky in Tempe.

  39. lil cummer says:

    all leftists should do this
    stop using the government as a weapon to steal other peoples money under threat of death or imprisonment
    end your own life
    it’s the only way you can earn the moral status you so desperately desire
    no amount of virtue signalling or pandering to minorities can save you from being a leech and a liar
    only death
    do it

  40. Under Acheever says:

    Do I get an A by default?

  41. Tyrone Jr says:

    Yo Proffesor, imma need that assignment in quick snap, me an ma boyz gotta go holla at this fine white girls down at kappa phi, what’s taken so long homie?

  42. Will in O pine box says:

    >Smart enough to be “SOOOO WONDERFUL WE’LL MISS YOU AND THE WORK YOU DO”
    >not smart enough to find out how to not kill yourself
    Shiggy

  43. Kenneth Fernandez says:

    Will, enjoyed taking your class and playing basketball with you at UCR. Peace.

  44. Lisa P says:

    I wish I could have helped somehow. Rest in Peace.

  45. Rachel T says:

    Shoutouts to the person trying to be edgey and offensive, who has probably deluded themselves into thinking their comments actually have any negative influence on anyone they’re responding to. It takes someone not only socially oblivious in real life, but someone with too much free time on their hands to repeatedly come back and waste their time like that.

    • Brandon says:

      You’re comment is personally offensive to me as I held will very close to me metaphorically and physically.

      It started on the fine summer days of 2016 and our affair lasted several months. Will is a good lover and will be missed deeply. If he only knew how much I miss him maybe it wouldn’t have been this way.

      Will was always promiscious though; it’s not suprising that he had many enemies.

      • LHM says:

        It is unclear to me why these trolls believe that accusing this man of being gay is an insult. I don’t believe he’d think it was.

  46. Cleve Langdale says:

    Whenever someone tells me they’re feeling suicidal (or, more often, that they FELT suicidal) I’m going to sit them down and read this to them.

    • Bill says:

      What, the comments?! LMAO

      Maybe Will should have done something else that he’d be more happy doing than contemplating suicide and not associating with his peers.

  47. Wilson T. Benedict says:

    NOW FOR THE ULTIMATE TRUTH

    Every post here is a reflection of the individual which created it.

    Will obviously shouldn’t have killed himself but his sperg ass couldn’t help it.

    R.I.P.

  48. Joe D Valha says:

    Go in peace my friend. My heart hurts tonight.

  49. Karl Scheibe says:

    Often, one can awaken from a dream state that is screamingly impossible into a reality that is reliable, acceptable, and entirely possible. But on occasion, and this case is one of them, the switch does not work. This is something to dread. But then be grateful for the return to the ordinary.

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